The strongest energetic force in your life is love.  It bypasses logic, common sense, or intellectual reasoning.  It makes us date, marry, or get involved with people that we know on some level are completely wrong for us.  We dismiss those near and dear that advise us against that relationship because, after all, we are blinded by the force we call love.  We need it. We want it. We're going to go after it... again and again, and again. 

Yet, Love is not an emotion.

Love Like Your Parents
I see it all the time... the trend... the connections... the mirror personalities (of boyfriends, spouses, lovers) to one or a combination of both of your parents.   It's familiar, secure, and your body remembers the emotions you went through during childhood while in their care way after you consciously forgot.  As a child, you felt your way around your small world years before you were able to intellectualize.  Love came first through a combination of basic emotions that helped you feel secure and wanted.  Well, now that you're an adult and can apply reason and logic to other parts of your life, why can't you do it with LOVE? Oh, no... not that easy.  There's been a disconnect.  Your body remembers... your body rules!  It's time for you to connect body and mind again to allow yourself to feel and increase awareness.  As Kabat-Zinn says: "Awareness gives you your life back. You can then decide what to do with it."

Lucky is the one to have parents that took the time to be present, respectful of your emotions, taught you through example the importance of relationships, and the value of communication.  They didn't just tell you they loved you, they showed you in many different ways.  This, I feel, is important to the foundation of a growing child's self-esteem and ability to be mindful and have a high tolerance for life's adversities.

If your parents didn't do that, it's okay.  They raised you the best way they knew how with the knowledge they had at the time.  It doesn't make them bad people.  You can decide now as an adult what it is you want and go for it, but it's not going to happen automatically because there's so much you've substituted for love throughout the years that you've conditioned yourself to accept the substitutes however damaging they are.   Is it Food? Alcohol? Drugs?  Control to the point of being out of Control?  When you decide you've had enough and you're committed to find healthier representations of love, the resources are here for you.

Change is Easy
Albert Einstein once said you cannot change a problem with the same mindset that created it. 

The fact that you're reading this post is a sign that you're seeking ways to heal yourself.  Good for you!  You're ready to feel healthy, vibrant, and mindful.  You want to do something daily to keep yourself centered, grounded and in control of your world and create healthier habits to help you deal and cope.  It's not hard, and it doesn't require special skills.  All it requires is a strong desire to create harmony where ever you go and in everything you do - the willingness to commit to daily/weekly spiritual and physical exercises that help you stay healthy inside and out.  Only then will life become easier for you.

As I raise my daughter, juggle two businesses, household chores, and the many surprises that life throws our way, I am grateful to have learned the practice of mindfulness.    I know she is a lot better off with a mom who is aware of her emotions and proactive in her development than with a mom who is dealing with her own issues and has little time to do much else except put out fires.  Most importantly, I'm happy to make it part of my life's work in helping others accomplish the same with their families... moms, dads, grandparents, caregivers.

I love the song by John Mayer titled Daughters, and the inspiration for this post.  Here is the music video of it
http://www.videocure.com/music-video-code/j/747f672413684f08a8b9ccfbb4ec6224.html